Wow Baby

Little One,

Nights are so funny.  I love that as I settle down from my day and after I have put or bubbling, busy Matine to bed I have time to spend alone and uninterrupted with you.  You are already so loved, so anticipated, and so uniquely you.  I can feel your little spirit and personality already and I love it.  I think you like to make your presence known.  Currently, you are doing so by residing right up under my lungs and ribs.  As silly as this sounds and as much as you hear people complain about this uncomfortable stage of pregnancy (it's no picnic), I laugh because I truly am grateful.  I am so thankful that you are growing.  That you move and shake and poke and kick.  You are preparing every minute for your entrance into this crazy world of light and noise and activity.  Each kick and punch and piercing blow to my pelvis is your way to getting strong and bold and ready.  I admire that.

I thought Mattie moved a lot in my belly, but you move ALOT and either my memory is totally warped or you are much bigger than your sister was at this stage.  It just feels fuller in there.  Tonight as I read books to Matine, she picked out 2 princess books that she thought YOU would like and when I kissed her good night, all on her own, she asked if she could kiss my belly and the baby.  Do you hear her little voice?   She loves you so much already too!

Five weeks - that is all we have left.  Last night I could swear labor was starting.  It was a few hours of pretty consistent contractions and intense tightening of the belly.  While I am a big pusher for full term (and then some) babies, they say it would be safe to have you now.  I hope you stay in there and fatten up a bit more.

This weekend I am getting some "belly / maternity" pics taken by the uber-talented and lovely Meggan Carrigg Davidson.  She is our family's unofficial photographer and just an all around terrific friend.  I am excited to capture this burgeoning belly and emotions that come along with it.

Our friend Emily told me yesterday that she had a dream about us.  She said I delivered you three weeks early and you were a BOY!  Are you?  I think you are.  That has been my hunch from the beginning.  Your dad thinks you are a girl.  Your sister says you are a "brother."  Micca thinks you are girl.  Madeleine goes back and forth and Sally thinks you are girl.  Nana Jo thinks boy and every person who we see has an opinion.

I just want you healthy, calm, happy, and HERE!  I have experienced a lot of anxiety (not because of you) and stress this pregnancy.  I know it is self defeating and creating more stress, but I worry and ironically "stress" about hurting you or affecting your development through my thoughts, sleeplessness and worry.  I sure hope not.  I try to breath deep, speak positive things into your little life and focus on all the beautiful things I want you to experience in your life.   Regardless of the hard things in this life, I know you will bring so much joy and clarity to my life.  You are meant to be.  You are meant to be born at this very time into our lives.  You have great purpose and timing.  I am thankful to be your mom and see what you will be and what unique stamp you will bring to this life.

I think you like the cats.  At night when you are really active and seem to be bouncing all around, Fez will cuddle up on my belly or right next to it and start purring really loud - You immediately chill out and get more still.  I think you can hear each other.  I like thinking about that connection.

I have my 35.5 week appointment tomorrow with our darling Doctor Coleman.  I think I will be going every week after this point - wow! Time has FLOWN by! I am so grateful for another easy, uneventful pregnancy and let's hope the delivery goes as smoothly.  I would ask that it not stretch over THREE days like it did with Matine!  Can we work on that?  I will do my best to bring you into this world as peacefully and patiently as you like (if you can make it painless and quick, that would be appreciated!) - Ha!  Just get here - safe and happy little one - there are people anxious to meet you and start memorizing your face!

I love you,

Your momma

Belly Goodness

Well, I have been TERRIBLE at regularly putting up pics of this pregnancy.  I am at 34 weeks this week (yes, that means SIX to go).  If you can't believe it, just imagine my surprise!

I am growing, growing, growing.  Things have been great.  Chasing a toddler around has made this pregnancy "more difficult" I guess I would say, but the actual pregnancy symptoms aren't much different.  My body looks and feels about the same - I am a bit more sore and stretched out feeling in the lower belly area.  I actually have a little less heartburn than I did with Matine.  I felt like with her I had it up to the very end pretty consistently.  I think it has pretty much subsided now with Baby Dos.   This kiddo likes to move a lot!  I get lots of flips and kicks and little feet and elbows throughout the day.  I love the movement.  While it can surprise me and sometimes hurt it is still such a miracle to feel its energy and life already.  I have started fantasizing a lot about what this baby looks like.  Will he/she look like Mattie?  Will it be dark haired?  Blue or brown eyes?  And of course, BOY OR GIRL?  I LOVE not knowing what it is ... It is making me excited about the upcoming labor (yes, I just typed that).

I feel really relaxed about it's arrival.  We now know how little you actually need for a baby (in terms of stuff).  We have everything in order and the room is ready to go.   I am getting my housekeeping things with my businesses in order so I can chill out a bit in April and May and just enjoy my time with our newest member.   Mattie STILL tells everyone it's a "boy" and she wants a "baby brother."  We are glad she still doesn't like the name "Horace."  She doesn't really have a name now, she just says baby boy or baby brother.  Her baby in her belly is still a girl, of course.  

I have a few friends pregnant right now, so I am super excited about sharing the new baby experience again with other great mommas.  Today was 60 plus degrees and sunny and something about the weather just made it feel more like it is almost time to have this baby!  There is something about being able to feel the sun on my face and picturing toting my kids around town with nice weather .... It just felt so good!   I also wanted to actually go for a long walk, which always makes me feel better.

These are pics of 32 weeks (2 weeks ago) and today (34 weeks).  I need to start taking these when I am actually showered and looking human.  Geez.

30 Weeks!

I am having a really hard time believing that this Baby Dos will be arriving in 10 weeks!  What?  Where did the time go?  Oh yeah, I have spent it chasing a 2 year old around.   Feeling good and haven't had any weird pregnancy issues so far.  I am feeling larger this time although they say I am measuring just about the same as last time.

We are getting really excited to be a family of four.  Matine talks more and more about "being a big sister" "the baby" and all the plans she has for him/her.  She will sing a song and then say things like, "do you think the baby will like this song?"  One day she declared to me that SHE will be the one to pick the babies outfits out and feed it.  That will sure be helpful!

I am getting excited about the warm, snuggly, chubby baby thing - every time I see an infant I can just feel ours in my arms.  Our friends Meggann and Tony and baby Brody came over last night for dinner and it was like another lifetime having a 10 month old in the house.  Crawling, finger foods, baby babble... I already forgot about the needs and rules of pre-walking toddlers!  I am hoping it all comes back to me.  If it doesn't I am sure Matine will be double check EVERYTHING I do and don't do with the Little One.  

Right now, everything is a "but WHY mom?"  I give her and answer and it's followed up with another, "but WHY?"  I am thankful that we have a POTTY TRAINED Matine now!  Only 2 accidents since we started the potty training nearly 2 weeks ago now.  She hasn't had an accident at nap time and even though we put her to bed overnight with a diaper she is waking up more and more with a dry diaper.  I swear, we totally lucked out with this kid.  She has been SO easy with every thing we have needed to do with her.  I feel so lucky and honored to have her in my life.  I know I am extra hormonal and all right now, but I am brought to tears on a  DAILY basis by this little gals sweet, gentle heart and spirit.  She is SO kind and sweet to everyone, everything.  She just cares about others and LOVES to bring joy to people.  From her "jokes" to giving hugs and kisses because, to telling us all how much she loves us, or how nice we look or hugging her dogs and cats (oh yeah, we have 2 cats now... another post about that coming next).  I feel so ready and excited to see how this new baby changes and adds to her already rich life.   She will be the BEST big sister ever.  She has a lot of love to go around and I think she will really thrive with the new addition.  I am really not worried about the transition.

As always, my little helper is close at hand! 

Please notice how she unzipped and had to show her naked belly too... She does this every time I look at my belly.

I will also post pics of the new baby's room!  We are getting close to pulling it all together.  It is really cute and I think I like it even more than Mattie's nursery!

Week 23 Belly

Like I mentioned, we haven't had a moment to rest for a while, but alas, we are now in Dillon at Amy and Eric's for a few days and I am making it my mission to do NOTHING. I have 2 books, the computer, a camera, some card games, and NO problem watching a million movies if I want to.

This kid, just like Mattie, is getting used to the Howell way in utero - go, go, and more go! I spent 4 hours on Monday skiing with Matine. I really should use the term loosely. Skiing with a 2.5 year old means holding her while in a crouched position as she slides down the hill, playing cat and mouse games while skiing backwards, LOTS of lifting her out of the snow, falling in the snow (because "it's fun mom, fall with me!"), and bending over, up and down, putting on skis, carrying gear, and tracking down hats, gloves and helmets. ALL well worth it to see the pure thrill on her face when she is "skiing" but that day alone would wipe most 23 week pregnant mommas out for a good day. Add that to the excitement and NON STOP talking, walking, entertaining with my dad and bro and I am whooped!

So, here I am - Pete has Mattie on the ranch somewhere looking at horses and I am taking photo booth pics of my belly for the adoring blog readers who actually care what my burgeoning body looks like with Baby Howell #2.

I am feeling great.  No more tiredness that normal, no weird cravings or pains.  I am experiencing the Braxton Hicks contractions ALOT and have been for a week or so. I get them every hour or so and they are quite noticeable.  My mother, the nurse and concerned parent, insists I need to slow down and rest more.    This baby is a MOVER!  She/He is always kicking and turning and  moving around.  I feel it all day and night and am having a lot of fun picturing the little thing in there just grooving.   My eyes are bigger than my belly now ... I feel hungry a lot but I can't get that much in.  

Mattie is still convinced she has a baby in her belly and likes to check on the one in mine anytime we have Nona's otoscope or stethoscope out.  She gets very serious and will put the heart beat thing up to the belly, the ear pieces in and she quietly listens to the sounds.  The other day I asked her what she heard, what the baby was saying?   Her reply was:  the baby is saying, "whaaa whaaaa."  We laughed really hard.   I guess she was listening to me when I explained the baby might cry sometimes when it comes out.

She also insists that the baby in my belly is a "boy" and when asked what the baby's name was the other day, she very confidently proclaimed, "Horace."  Hmmm... that might be at the bottom of the boy list.  For those of you keeping track... the baby in HER belly is a girl.   She has no name, just "baby girl."

I feel like I am bigger with this pregnancy than the last, but then I realize how far along we are and I guess it's not all that strange.  I am measuring the same and about the same for weight gain as last time.   I am pretty much wearing maternity pants most of the time - they are really MUCH more comfortable than my rubber band trick normal pants.   It is just going by so fast I am having a hard time mentally catching up with all the changes in my body!

As always, the boobs feel enormous and kind of gross me out.  I feel like a cow but know I will be grateful when I have a healthy baby that I can feed on demand.  

The Baby got some presents for Christmas... A beautiful hand knit blanket from Nana Jo, a cool travel highchair contraption from Peter and I, and a darling Oklahoma onesie from Clark and Sammi.   I also found a super soft all white outfit while shopping the other day that I couldn't resist.   It's all sinking in and this baby is going to be here in about 16 weeks... HOLY COW!   We are going to start getting the baby room ready next week!

17 - 18 Weeks Belly

Well,  we are approximately 17 - 18 weeks along. Yay!  Feeling great and still lucky to have a very "uneventful" pregnancy.   I think keeping up with Mattie has made this pregnancy go MUCH faster than the first.  That is good and bad for me.  I feel a bit guilty that I am not doting over every grumble, movement and pound, but I still feel like I am taking as much time as I can to give this little Bun in the Oven some TLC and love.  I THINK I felt some movement last night.  It was the "fluttering" feeling that I felt with Mattie around 20 weeks.

I am looking (and feeling) fatter this time.  Probably because I just am... not complaining, just stating.  No cravings or urges.  No pain or symptoms.  The hardest part is trying to explain to my Jumping Bean toddler that she can't jump endlessly up and down on my belly.  This poor kid is going to be born with a bruise on it's forehead from Mattie's elbows and knees.  I am assured by other moms of toddlers that all the belly abuse shouldn't affect the unborn's intelligence too much.  We will see.

So, here is a picture ... I don't have exactly an 18 week update or pic from last time - this is a 20 week update (link here) from Mattie's pregnancy.   Similar I suppose.

17 - 18 weeks .... and my little helper of course, showing off her belly.

Belly Pic Time - 15 weeks

I am trying to do my best and chronicle this Baby's development like I was able Matine's pregnancy.  Granted, this is already proving a bit more challenging, but I am determined to try.

This baby is exactly 12 days earlier in terms of conception day, due date, etc.  Pretty weird and kind of nice for comparison.  Mattie was due on May 5th, 2009 and this little guy/gal is due April 22, 2012.  Nearly 3 years apart - heck, they could be born the same day (if God was playing a cruel joke on me).

Babycenter.com tells me that the baby at 15 weeks is approximately the size of an apple - 4 inches from crown to rump.  He/She is moving around and kicking, but I won't feel it for another 4 weeks or so.   It can move all it's joints and limbs and has legs longer than it's body now.

Here is a picture of what "the belly" (or really the 'Lack of Waist') looks like this week - week 15.

Side note:  We must be a morning family because EVERY single belly picture we take is just after we get up ... I think it's the only time we are all three in the same room!  Please notice Mattie's awesome morning hair!

PLEASE disregard the down booties and night gown - there is NO glamour in this house!  yikes.

And for comparison, this is what I looked like at 15 weeks with Mattie... I was a bit smaller then.  I definitely "showed" earlier with this one and I am 4 pounds heavier (that could be because I went into the pregnancy heavier too ... oops).

circa 2008 with Matine

hmm... the birth story

The long awaited birth story. Many find them gruesome, some think it's just cruel, some fascinating, some "amazing" and "miraculous" -- I am a mixture of all these things. I will tell you this. I SWORE after our birthing experience that I will NEVER LIE TO ANOTHER FELLOW WOMAN. Scouts honor, cross my heart and swear to die. So, here it goes. I am not sure why it has taken me this long to get this on the blog.

As many of you know we prepared for baby's arrival through a series of Hypnobirthing classes, books, and lots of reading the internet, watching natural births on the internet (I don't recommend that one - only b/c it led me to an internet spiral of watching baby circumcisions, over dramatized ones at that, and I am still shuddering).

One week overdue, I was still feeling really great to be honest. I was active, gardening that day, went for a hike / jog a few days prior, able to get up and down at ease (all relative) and still had no swelling. I was just really anxious to MEET HER! Mom and Jim were still in town and we were all staying busy "nesting" and waiting for her. On Saturday night, May 9th we had gone to Chico Hot Springs to soak in the natural waters and eat some spicy nachos. They were delicious - both of them. Pete and I retired that night to bed by 10 and at 11:00pm I grunted because I felt a little "trickle" on the sheets. I think my thought process was "*%$#, I am SO sick of peeing my pants... this is getting ridiculous!"

To the bathroom I go, not sure why I wouldn't have simply assumed my water was broken - I was 41 weeks pregnant and due any MINUTE! Anyhow, pregnant brain assesses the "liquid" and it wasn't quite urine (I will spare you the details).

I wake up Peter, we go over a few questions in our head. As much as I wanted to be at home right up until the baby crowned, then and only then would we casually drive to the hospital to have a pain free natural birth in the presence of doctors - we had a few more details to consider.

1) I tested positive for this cool thing they call "Group B Strep" which meant that I need to be on antibiotics at least 4 hours before she was delivered - so that changes the timeline a bit, but how long can we wait???
2) Because of the Placenta Previa scare (see previous post and miraculous placental movement) I was BIT concerned about the color of my "so called water" that I am assuming broke.
3) We are first timers at this and regardless of how much you prepare and tell yourself that you will be level headed - you are freaking excited and anxious and have NO IDEA what is about to happen.

So, we wait for an hour or so (now midnight or so), taking our time dragging bags to the big ol' diesel dodge ram (still not sure why THAT was the redneck vehicle we chose to arrive at the hospital in... ). We called the hospital just to see if it was water or if I really did pee myself again. I really really really wanted to stay home, but when qualified nurses and docs tell you they really need to see it themselves and I need to start the antibiotics that will ensure my baby won't catch a horrible disease as she passes through me --- you listen and go.

So, about midnight we arrive at Livingston Memorial - they prod, test urine and hook me up to some things to see if I am contracting at all -- Not real sure about the water breaking, no real contractions, but I am there... Admit me and just have the Doc (Dr. Coleman, the one we really really wanted to be on-call for our delivery) check in the morning. Since we have essentially been up since Saturday morning and it was now Sunday at 1am, we thought it good to just sleep.

I start having some "cramping" that felt just like a menstrual cramp about this time and they came pretty irregularly the entire night (morning). When the Doc arrived at 8am on Sunday (May 10th, also Mother's Day) he said I was in "pre-labor" and that I was still dilated to a 1 (that's 1cm). No baby coming out of that anytime soon.

We were told to WALK and walk and walk and walk as much as we wanted... wherever we wanted, all over town, the hospital, the trails at the River, whatever. Just come and check back in and they would take a look and see how I was progressing. I was happy about this.

Cramps were now about 10 minutes apart. Yay. They would change however and didn't stay real consistent. By NOON on Sunday we were still walking, the cramps or "surges" as we called them in Hypnobirthing were getting fairly more intense, I had to stop when walking when they came on now, but they were still not regular and get this... I was not dilated to a THREE! No baby coming out of that anytime soon. No sir.

We are now over 12 hours into "labor." I was really happy to just go slow and steady and keep at this rate. Eventually (next week) I would be at a ten and we could have the baby... Just keep walking. Because of our extensive walks, we had some nice visits with our friends that lived within a 5 square mile radius of the Hospital and the hatches we checked out on the Yellowstone were lovely.

Now, I am going to preface this with - Dr. Coleman was TOTALLY behind our natural birth plan and was very amazing at letting us "do our thing" and progress on our own. However, I knew that no matter how behind us he was, the dreaded "P" word was going to fly soon. Simply b/c I read enough to know that with the group b strep thing and the antibiotics and hospitals really don't want to let you go too long after your "water has broke," I knew it was coming. It did.

At 3:00pm I was given Pitocin. By 3:01 it was working. Very intense contractions immediately. I went from walking and talking and laughing to only talking and laughing and then quickly to only talking and eventually, I didn't speak. You can ask my husband for the details of what went on from 3:30pm - 10pm, but let's just say - I didn't speak ( I occasionally held up my hand in a stop sign position to get anyone talking to me to stop talking, or I would give a wimpy "thumbs up" to let them know I was not dead).

I chose to stay in the shower for this entire 6 plus hours. It was my happy place and the ONLY place where I could concentrate on my hypnobreathing and visualizations. There was something about the small confined white box with the hot water dripping down me. It worked. While the labor was very very difficult and the contractions with Pitocin are "AMPLIFIED" I was for the most part able to control my labor and advance pretty well. I dreaded the few times they took me out of the shower to do some monitoring or vitals. Moving when you find a comfortable position or focus is a very, very bad idea. When you lose your focus it feels a bit like you are a small child in a large shopping mall with a million people around yelling and you look up and can't find your mom. Panic, anxiety and pure fear come over you and you feel like you may never get back to your "safe happy place."

The few times I let my focus or breathing slip while I was in the shower was a result of letting my mind wander to thoughts of the hot water running out. I had decided that I would sue Livingston Memorial if it ran out of hot water. I was going to sue the nurses, the doctors, and the maintenance man if the hot water heater was too small and I was interrupted or taken out of my hot shower. Looking back - it might have been a bit irrational.

At 10pm I was starting to lose it. I had now been awake with no sleep (except for a few cat naps) since Saturday morning at 7am when I had woken. It was now almost MONDAY. I was one tired gal. Mentally I felt like I was hanging in there... Very determined to have this baby and very determined to not get any more drugs. I was bummed about the Pitocin but knew it was not the end of the world. I also knew that if my body started shutting down and getting too tired, then I was at a greater chance of not being fit to deliver the baby naturally and without a c-section and THAT WAS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN to me that day. I didn't feel like we needed to go there.

I was at the point where I physically wasn't handling the contractions anymore... Body was plum tired. We were at 24 hours of laboring at this point. Dr. Coleman strongly suggested some pain meds to help my body relax, to give me a break and see if that would dilate me more. After 6 hours on the crazy Pitocin with rocking contractions - I was still only dilated 7 cm. He said labor could continue for hours.

When you are convulsing and falling dead asleep (to the point of snoring) between your 3o second apart contractions the Epidural is sounding really good. So, we got the Epidural. Grant, the Anesthesiologist, the man of the hour, couldn't get there fast enough. Once you actually allow yourself to admit you are getting the drugs and make up your mind, you go all out and absolutely NEED them immediately. Once my mind allowed the Epidural I couldn't bear to "focus and breath" any more and I was pretty anxious (very large understatement) for GRANT and his needle.

He gave me the epidural. Within minutes Peter had his wife back. I was smiling, could focus, saw his face. I think I finally spoke a syllable again. My legs were like boat anchors and as Pete and the Doc chatted I almost fell off the table. Thank goodness Maria, the R.N was paying attention and caught me. We got teary eyed about how cool labor was, how amazing this was, how excited we were to meet her... I slept for about 2 hours. Fell right asleep. When I awoke at midnight I was dilated to 10cm! It was time to push. The Epidural just allowed my body to rest and relax enough to dilate further AND I got some beauty sleep for the final inning. I was looking rather haggard.

They were able to "undo" the epidural at that point so I could feel the pushing stuff and be a bit more aware of what was going on down there. It is very difficult to "push a baby out" with only muscle memory and no feeling. Especially since I had NO MEMORY in my muscles of this miraculous event. I could feel what was going on but a bit of the "edge" was taken off... It was quite ideal really.

We pushed for almost 2 hours. Peter and Dr. Coleman literally talked about fishing and hunting between every contraction. I at the time didn't mind it at all and was even taking part in the conversations. Later, Maria the R.N. said she thought it was hilarious and thought that most women would have slapped their husbands and kicked the Dr. if they had to hear about fish and elk while pushing...

At 1:51am on Monday May 11th Matine John Howell came into this world. She was absolutely perfect. I am so thankful to have experienced what I did. While everything didn't go perfectly according to my "birth plan" the outcome was all the same. We had a perfect, healthy, alert and calm baby girl in our arms.

Those first moments when you see, hear and hold your baby are too indescribable to even attempt to write. It was the most defining moment of my life - and always will be.

The room is ready . . . .

This picture is just because I think my husband is a HOTTIE and thought I would share how cute I think he was this morning. These are his favorite pants . . . No matter how many holes they acquire, I can't see him giving them up anytime soon!

Ok, so we keep "tweaking" the room and it's hard for me to walk past it anymore without going in it, moving something around, cleaning something up, or just admiring how CUTE everything is. I could spend days just looking at this kid's clothes!

This is a very large basket full of JUST SHOES that have been purchased or passed down to her! Some she won't even be able to wear for another 2 years . . . They are all so adorable!

This is the newest bed to grace our house. The Amby Bed. Given to us by my cousin Shannon, along with 70 cloth all-in-one Bum Genius diapers! She swears by this thing and says her child was sleeping through the night at 2 weeks or something crazy like that. It is supposed to mimic the movements of the womb and be very soothing for baby. It is also super portable and can be moved room to room or taken with you when you travel - that way baby always is "at home" with her sleeping - a point I do understand.

In addition to the Amby bed, we have her crib (thanks Cox family), a family heirloom cradle (thanks Howell family), and a Moses Basket (thanks Aunt Michele and mom). This kid has 4 different bed options! Which one will she like best?

Latest changes to the nursery - red bed skirt, some minor rearranging to give it a "roomier" feel, and some general organization. Also, the very basic (which I love) roman shades are now hung and keep the room nice and dark when we need it. This little girl will be able to open up her shades and check out her dad in the backyard, building her things!

Also added: my favorite pictures that are finally framed and hanging on the wall. These little pieces of art from Swedish artist, Camilla Engman, were really what started me down the path the nursery decorating took. I LOVE them.


This would be her closet... Just a FRACTION of all the clothes that we actually have. I have multiple boxes stored for things past 6 months of age. This kid is going to be well dressed!

What are we doing?

Well, funny you should ask! What do you do when you are 40 weeks plus 4 days, have family in town, and finally decided to quit working and "wait for baby."

You take sassy pregnant pictures.

You visit with your friends and learn the fine art of drinking beer WHILE nursing! Go Madeleine!

You watch your husband start and fly through a "small backyard project." Your job is to stay out of the way, consult on minor aesthetic questions like "can I cut down this tree to build a deck around it?" and jump quick when you hear, "we need more beer!"

Here is the sauna/toolshed/baby's playhouse framed and starting to have sides. (yes, Pete has called it all those things... not sure what he had in mind when he started building)

Today, should the weather hold out, the deck will go on around the structure!

In pregnancy news, we did have a Dr. appt on Wednesday and it was all good news! My cervix is "very soft" and her head is "very low." I have dropped alot since last week and he said at the appointment that "I will have this baby this week!" Now, that could mean by Friday (today), end of Sunday, or a 7-calendar day week (by next Thursday) - we have no idea! Regardless, we are anxious and excited. I can definitely feel things "moving" and changing nearly every minute of the day.

Spring Project 2009 - The Hot Steam Sauna

Men do things differently than women. I know it took me saying that just now on this little blog for everyone reading this to realize that.

As a woman, waiting for baby, my mom and I patiently keep my brain and energy directed towards cleaning pantries, rearranging furniture, planting flowers, cleaning the baby clothes . . . nesting.

Peter, the man in my life, waits for baby and keeps his mind busy by starting the construction of a massive hot steam sauna in the back yard, 1 day AFTER our baby is due. This is no small project, like hanging some pictures or fixing a railing. It is the construction of a major structure! It will be built up off the ground with a large deck surrounding it, walls, roof, insulation.

He was smart to use the family visitors as slave labor. Here he is with my two dads - Jim and Scott. If you could only imagine the dynamics of this trio . . . I love these 3 men more than any others in the entire world! If only Clark were here to complete this picture!

The base boards/beams for the floor going in - with Jim being a perfectionist with squaring things up and perfectly planned work, Pete being a good ol' hard hand and Scotty "directing" the project . . . things move quickly.

They ran into my old neighbor and friend Tom at the hardware store. Somehow Tom ended up over here and things really got cooking!

Above, is the barn raising of the 10 foot side of the sauna.

Here is the fearsome four . . . So proud. Let me remind you that this has all been accomplished in a day and a half!

This was the final product for the night. The sauna will nicely block the ugly view of the neighbor's house and give our backyard some privacy again. It will be a place for us to steam away our worries, relax with friends and as Pete points out a
"great playhouse for our little girl . . ." 5 years from now!

No one can tell me that men don't have their own "nesting" tendencies 2 days after a baby is due!

Dear Baby,

40 weeks!

It is 3:30 in the morning. I can't sleep. Not for the reason you would think, I am quite comfortable and still moving around as if I were just pregnant. While we are now at 40 weeks + 1 day I am just AWAKE- oh so anxious to meet you!

Other things keeping me awake this night . . . I just had a dream that that I was walking up and down the isles at our local grocery store, shopping for rice cereal (which you won't eat for 6 months) and dog food. I finally got to Isle 11 and delivered you... Does that mean something? Isle 11? I know your uncle Ron would LOVE for you to be born on May 11 - his birthday. With baited breath we wondered if you would have come yesterday, May 4th, your "due date" and your late grandpa John's birthday. He and your Uncle Ron had an ongoing best friend contest going to see if you would be born on John or Ron's birthday. Ron and Linda were even here to be with Pete and Joellyn on John's birthday, and of course with the hopeful off-chance you might be here already and they could meet you! Alas, May 4 came and went - does that mean May 11? Who knows. Everyone's guess is as good as ours.

And let me tell you - EVERYONE has a guess or an opinion as to when you will or will not make your debut!

Starting at week 37 . . . "Oh, I delivered 2 weeks early and it was PERFECT!" "Baby girls are so cooperative - I am sure she will be here soon."

I thought, maybe on April 29? Mine and Libby's birthday? Great day, 2 fun gals to share your day with?

Last week I was convinced you would come while your dad was guiding on the Madison River - 1.5 hour away with no cell service. We had a "plan" as to how we were going to let him know to get off the river... It involved "Bob" the shuttle driver with Hook, Line and Sinker shuttles driving up and down the river honking . . . . (only in Montana if you are married to a fishing guide is this even a conversation)!

Maybe May 1st the day before all the family and friends arrived, maybe you wanted to have a nice quiet entrance with just your mom and dad around? A shy and no frills kind of kid?

I see, you were waiting for your Nona Kerri, Papa Jim, and Grandpa Scott - they are all here now, helping us do little projects around the house, organizing our pantries, decorating your room . . . waiting . . .

Ok, May 1 comes and goes... Your dad planned a little b-day party on May 3 for me... I can picture my water breaking in a very dramatic Hollywood fashion AT THE PARTY with all the family and friends here . . . A drama queen baby?

May 3 comes and goes . . . Definitely, it's written in the stars and your Grandpa John will make SURE you are born on HIS birthday, just to prove to Uncle Ron and all of us something . . . No, something else must be written in those stars . . .

May 4 came and went . . . So, we continue to patiently wait for you. We walk, we eat spicy food, we are moving constantly. . . We THANK YOU for being so good. I am still not uncomfortable. We went to Libby's fifth birthday party on Sunday . . . All I could do was picture what your birthday parties might look like. What little sun dress or boots you might pick out to wear on your special day.

We laugh together as mothers and women tell us "no way will you be delivering that baby any time soon!" " You have to drop first!" " Are you sure you are even 40 weeks pregnant?" "This is the day! I feel it in my bones!," " You look way too happy to be delivering here anytime within 2 weeks." "She will come on the full moon - May 8th - ALL babies come on full moons!" "Have you been driving on bumpy roads? You MUST do that . . . Works every time." "Walk, walk, walk!"

Oh, the list and voices go on!

So, I think I will go back to sleep and see what other dreams I have of you.

No baby YET!

Bags are packed, phone list is made and the calls, Facebook messages and text messages have started!

No, no baby yet... Don't you all know me well enough by now to know that I will likely make some sort of blog posting or announcement through one of these ridiculous social networking sites as soon as I have my first contraction?

I assure you all that you will be the first to know!

We are doing our best to hurry things along and get this little Girl out as soon as we can --- we cannot wait to meet her at this point!

Last night we decided to pull out the famous "Eggplant Parmesan" recipe that is known to make women go into labor within 48 hours of eating it. We thought "why not!"

Although we are almost at 39 weeks, and not even at the infamous "40" yet, that is close enough... She can come anytime now. Little girl: what do you look like? Whose eyes do you have? Will they stay blue? What will your little voice sound like? Will you laugh (cackle) like your dad? Do you have any hair? What will make you smile? The questions are endless and I know we (God willing) have the rest of our lives to get answers to these questions, but boy you already have us wrapped around your little finger and hanging on your every movement . . .

We are trying all the other unorthodox methods to speed things along - red raspberry tea, walking, whispering sweet nothings in each others ears, baths, crazy recipes and spicy food, ASKING her to make her debut....

Any other ideas out there?

Moo

This is what I feel like right now.

Happy Cow

Peter has been "joking" and telling everyone that he thinks I will be "calving soon." Isn't that sweet . . . He says this because: I am anxious, move around a lot, overly tired, walk like I have a bowling ball in my crotch, and probably because I am generally unbearable.

The weather has also changed DRASTICALLY here (typical Montana spring). This is usually when cows have their babies - during the worst weather of the spring. Two days ago it was sunny and 80 degrees - this morning I shoveled 1.5 feet of snow off our cars. Go figure. We were both hoping this weather system would pop this calf right out.

It is amazing how literally OVERNIGHT my comfort level and body changed. Yesterday I was walking normal, no pains or un-comforts, just a few little practice "surges" - all was fine. Last night I layed awake for what felt like an hour feeling these "Braxton Hicks contractions" or "surges." They weren't painful at all... Just noticeable.

Today, I feel like someone took a bat to my abdomen and "pelvic region." TMI? Sorry....

Anyways, our Doc told me on Thursday that her head was way down and not going anywhere. And I can tell you that it is way - way down since she even told me that.

Baby coming soon? I sure hope so! We will be at 39 Weeks on Monday and I think that sounds like a real peachy time to have a baby!

37 Weeks and the Placenta MOVED!

Do you see that smile? See where those fingers are pointed???

That there is MY PLACENTA! Not down low anymore, but up at the TOP of the uterus (where it's supposed to be)! We were hoping for a few inches of migration from the darn thing. Needless to say we were overwhelmed and shocked when the specialist in Billings casually told us that "you look great . . . The placenta is no problem what-so-ever! It completely moved to where every other woman in the world's placenta is when she delivers! "

We now get to wait and have all the anticipation of having a baby when she's good and ready.

The doc did tell us she was "tiny." I immediately asked if she was too small, but he quickly reassured me that it's not a bad thing to deliver a baby that is a normal size. "She just won't be a 10-pounder by any means, but she is just fine and perfectly healthy."

So friends and family who have been sending endless sweet messages, prayers to the sky and happy thoughts to my placenta THANK YOU! We mean it - you have no idea how happy we are that we get to try and bring this little gal into the world without surgery!

I am ballooning

Did I mention that my belly has literally grown before my eyes? 36 weeks here... I am twice the size I was a few weeks ago! Baby Howell is finally trying to catch up and put on some length and girth. She definitely has Pete's bony legs and arms - she is quite a "pokey" baby! We had an appointment yesterday with our Drs here in L-town and all is perfect - she is average for size, her heart rate was around 135, I am perfectly healthy and 100%. Besides this placenta stuff, this might be the most boring and uneventful pregnancy of all time (which is perfect by me).

We go to Billings next Tuesday to see Dr. Damron, the Perinatal Specialist (high risk pregnancy/baby specialist). As strange as it sounds, he will examine my placenta with his super high tech equipment and see if it has moved enough and then use his very expert opinion to decide if it is safe enough to go with a natural deliver OR if we we need to plan a cesarean for the last week of April!

Either way - this little gal is getting here safely and at just the right time!

Spring is in the Air

Yesterday we took a nice walk along the Yellowstone River.

Beautiful sunny day, 66 degrees . . .

The dogs were SO happy to be in the water again and Oliver (the Australian CATTLE dog) decided to become a pointer.

The belly got to lay in the sun, read a book and enjoy the warm weather! It was so therapeutic!

Baby Girl and Mama are Showered with LOTS of love!

Well, it's official. I have the BEST friends on the planet. On Friday, April 3 they threw me and Baby Howell the most wonderful party-shower.

Fabulous food, thirty-some-odd amazing gals, a ridiculous amount of presents, a slide show, and lots of laughs and memories....

I will NEVER forget it and this little girl will be SO lucky to have so many amazing women to show her the ropes throughout life. This is going to be one loved girl. She has quite a village to help raise her!

Jeannette, Micca, pregnant me, Laurie and Abby - The Ultimate Hostesses!

Micca came all the way from Oklahoma to plan, celebrate and spend time with her BF. As always, she is never here long enough and it makes me miss her even more.

The gals laughing as Jeannette tries to model and figure out a Boppy.

I made this face ALOT! LOTS of cute, pink, soft and fluffy things for Baby Girl!

Spring has (not) Sprung and Waiting on Babies

It has been a great week, a busy week, what's new?

Pete and I did some nice date nights, some entertaining, long walks, working, and anything that can't be as easily done with a baby.

We had a bit of a health scare with Joellyn, Pete's mom this weekend. She took herself to a Doctor on Friday because she was having some chest pains that radiated to her left arm (aghem). Apparently she has had these for an entire month, but being the wonderfully stubborn German that she is, kept righting it off as "pulled muscles." Well, thank goodness she went in. Her doc immediately sent her to the ER and she had a few tests done and stayed overnight. Luckily, they are 90% certain at this point that it is "stress" (no shocker there given all she has been through this last 4 months). So, we are all doing our best to "slow her down" and get her opening up about all that is going on, and asking for HELP when she needs it!

She came home with us on Saturday and we relaxed, took naps, cooked a nice dinner, and the following morning went to Chico for a soak and read books. We wish we could make sure we all had a nice relaxing weekend like that every week - I am sure it could be good for ALL our health.

Baby news: We are officially at 35 weeks now! How time flies! Pete thinks the time has crept along pretty slow, as he is so ready to meet this kid, but to the person carrying the baby, it feels like it went pretty darn fast. To be honest, the thought of not being pregnant is a bit bittersweet. I am not ready to be "un-pregnant" yet. Everyone tells me that at 39 and 40 weeks I will be singing a different tune. Until then, we are still whistling along!

My ridiculously handsome hubby cooking a fabulous dinner for us ... I love that I married a man who loves to cook - and is GOOD at it!

Emily and Hermes have came over for dinner and a movie. This is Emily at 40+ weeks --- she is overdue and not enjoying it. We have a sneaking suspicion that maybe they started having the baby yesterday - as we had plans to go to Chico and they didn't answer their phone ... ALL day. We sure hope so - we are just about as excited about meeting their baby as our own at this point! And I KNOW Emily is ready to not be pregnant!

Other babies due this week: Baby Finnigan - Pete's cousin Ashley is due any day! We are thinking of you Ashley and Paul!

I have told Emily that their baby is waiting for the weather to warm up... It is officially Spring, so why not come out to some lovely, warmer spring weather? Well, as you can see . . . Spring is not quite here. This is our house this morning. Can you find the 2 dogs in the picture?

I can almost rest the coffee mug on my belly while standing... No problems when I am sitting. Babies' butt is still up and head is still down. Last night she was LOVING Peter humming and singing to her. I can tell that she hears our voices now. She is really responsive to our talking to her and our poking her (of course).



Little Oliver is looking very cute with his fuzzy hair now, and loves the snow, but I think even HE is ready for a little warm weather and spring sunshine!

MICCA AND MICHAL AND MY MOM ALL COME TO VISIT THIS WEEK! I have a baby shower on Friday, so they will be here for that - fun! But, I can't wait to see them all and talk our heads off!

Great News!

Well, Pete and I just got back from our OBGYN appointment regarding the "low lying placenta."

There is some great news:

1. The four docs met and see no need at this time to say that I will need a cesarean for sure.
2. The placenta is "low lying" not a complete previa (covering the opening) which means that there is a chance (50/50 chance) that it COULD move to a safe level by the time we deliver. They think we need to wait and see how it progresses, as they'd prefer to not do surgery.
3. They are scheduling me to see a specialist in Billings the week of April 13-17. He will determine at that time if it has moved enough to go ahead and have a natural birth (which would be completely safe) OR schedule a cesarean if it doesn't move enough. He can do a better assessment with high tech tools and tests that will give us a much clearer picture.
4. IF they have to schedule the cesarean, it would not be scheduled until week 38-39 (not 37 like I previously thought). This is good - bigger, healthier baby with stronger, cleaner lungs!
5. We felt completely comfortable and satisfied with their thoughts about how to proceed. Nowhere along the way will we risk the health of baby or mama, but there is great hope to believe that things could change and that a preferable, natural birth could happen with no problems.
6. So, from here on out, we are praying and hoping that the placenta will move a bit more (to at least 2 cm from the opening) and that there will be no premature bleeding or stress on the area.
7. The docs would prefer to see me labor naturally, as it is generally safer and healthier for both of us, but should the placenta not cooperate - it might be safer to do a c-section. We will see and we are all on board with whatever happens.
8. With that said, I still have a good 4 weeks left of the perfect pregnancy and LOTS of time to practice and visualize a safe and healthy delivery for baby (however she comes out!).
9. We got to ask a million questions about the cesarean procedure, should it come to that, and I feel much better. It is much less of an "unknown" now and I feel much less uncomfortable with it.

Thanks for all your sweet words and support. Our friends and family are amazing! It's been fun to hear all the different stories of labor and hear such encouraging perspective on the miracle this whole process is!

Oh, here is a picture of the massive belly from yesterday - pardon the scary bathing suit shot, but you can really see the belly better. Cousin Loni and I went and soaked in the pools at Chico Hot Springs -- very relaxing and a perfect thing to do on a COLD March day!

not sure what my hands and face are doing - sorry for the goofy looks!

34 Weeks & Some Surprises

Well, as the creative title implies- we are 34 weeks along. Yes, "we can't wait!," yes, "we are still feeling great." No, "I cannot predict when she will be born..." Yes, "we realize how much our lives will change in a few short weeks," blah, blah, blah.


Everyone seems to have a million questions and their 2 cents of wisdom for a pregnant lady these days. I have also noticed a calculated increase in "sympathy" tips at the restaurant. Note to all you ladies out there: wait a few tables when you are about 30-34 weeks pregnant - people think you are a sad, knocked up gal raising a baby on your own, and they tip 20% plus - guaranteed!

So, we are still feeling so good that I make my previously and currently pregnant friends want to stab me with dull spoons. I am sorry, it has just been a freakishly uneventful pregnancy to this point and I feel fantastic. The docs tell me that the baby is 100% healthy, right on track for growth, and that I should count my blessings.


However there has been one small glitch in the perfect pregnancy. We had an appointment last week - at this appointment they looked back through my charts and remembered that at my 20 week ultrasound I had a bit of a "low lying placenta" and it was nothing to be concerned with then because 95% of the time it "migrates up" to where it is supposed to be by the time you get to the end of the pregnancy. Low lying means it was a bit too close to the cervical opening (where the babe will come out and if it ruptures or bleeds it is VERY bad). So, no worries for the last 15 weeks - surely it migrated and all will be great.

Well, after a follow up ultrasound was done yesterday, it is still within the "not-safe threshold." It needed to be at least 2 cm away and it was at 1cm. SO, this news was delivered to me by my very nice sonographer with a disclaimer - "your doctor will confirm all this and let you know what is going on."

Of course I can hardly wait for the doc to get the report from the radiologist, so I call him and tell him to get the report asap and call me. He is nice, so he does and sure enough... Too close for comfort but "he will consult the other 3 docs" and we will make any final calls regarding the delivery at my weekly appointment on Thursday.

To simplify my rambling: I have a partial placenta previa. This is one of the 3 possible scenarios where a vaginal delivery is just not an option. This means that I will have to have a cesarean section to deliver baby healthy and not risk bleeding to death myself. This means that all my hopes and dreams of this beautiful natural birth where my baby comes into the world in a certain way are shattered. This means that I grieved and pouted for my disappointment and this BIZARRE turn of events for exactly 8 hours. Pete helped by being really, really sweet and getting me dairy queen blizzards and letting me cry on the couch all night.

Let me just say that I am EXTREMELY thankful and grateful for the modern technology that can identify this very real complication that would likely result in a very very bad situation for me and our baby. I am MOST concerned with the healthy delivery of our baby, above any thing else in the entire world. But, it was quite a blow. We have been thinking and preparing for this birth for 9 months. The entire birth training I have been doing has been "visualizing" this natural birth and I whole heartedly wanted and believed in the plans we had. It's like training for a marathon for months and pouring your emotions and hopes and efforts into it and then breaking your foot a few days before the race! BUZZ KILL!

I still have to talk to the docs on Thursday, but being me - I of course have now dove head first into reading about placenta previa and the odds of being able to do a natural deliver - pretty much 0% - you just don't mess with a big bleeding placenta - I get it. And, I don't want to risk anything, especially this.

So, there we have it... You will likely be meeting baby girl Howell a bit earlier than expected, as (from what I have read) and she will likely be delivered (unless there is a small miracle) by cesarean section. You can read a more technical definition about placenta previa here.

Great news - she is ADORABLE! I got another peak at her sweet face and feet and butt in the ultrasound and she has a beautiful face and full lips and big cheeks. She is perfect. She is estimated to be about 5 pounds right now (give or take 12 ounces either way) and she will likely gain about 1/2 pound a week until she is born. She is estimated to be in the 40th percentile for size - so she is kind of petite!

We can't wait to meet her - HOWEVER she comes into this world!