Dear Dirtbag Renters,

I don't pretend to enjoy being a landlord, never really have and probably never will. I do however claim to be a very positive person who chooses to see the best in people and gives everyone a chance. This is starting to change.

Did I give you 2 months to pay your security deposit? Why, yes I did. I believed your sob story and thought I could give you a bit of help. Did I let you pay rent late WITHOUT charging late fees in the month of December? Why, yes I did - it was the Holiday. Who doesn't like playing Santa Clause. Did I bite my tongue and not tell you that you were an IDIOT when the reason you couldn't pay rent on time in December was because you had a $700 power bill in a 1,000 square foot home? Why, yes I did. I assumed you might figure out that you can't keep a heater at 75 degrees in Montana all winter. Instead of rolling my eyes, hanging up the phone, and handing you a bill for late fees, I nicely suggested that you use heating blankets, not walk around naked, maybe keep some doors shut to rooms you aren't using, put some plastic on the windows...

You quit taking my calls in December when you still owed me the other 1/2 of the deposit, you proceeded to not return any of my 12 calls since then. You failed to send us a single penny for rent in January as well. $1400 you owed us! You then became a SQUATTER, trespassing on my property. Did I mention that you suck?

When Peter went to the house this morning to inform you that must be out of the house February 1st, to our surprise (were we really surprised) and disappointment (were we really disappointed) you had up and moved out. Wow, so is that how you do things? You just choose to not pay rent or pay your bills, give no explanations, and then leave a home in the middle of the night? If I had only known this bit of information! All the stress I could have saved myself over the years trying to pay bills on time and being responsible!

You tried to stick it to us one last time before leaving by setting the heat as high as you could make it... Silly ignorant person, did you know that YOU are responsible for that bill? You never took the billing out of your name and I didn't have proof you were out of the house until today... I also hear that you can't get heat turned on in any place you live from here on out until that bill is paid to the power company. They will surely be much more persistant than I could be to get their money.

Oops, too bad. I hope you know that Kharma is guaranteed! Best of luck to you in your exploits and future ambitions of taking advantage of nice people.

Sincerely,

Your Landlords

PS - Anyone reading this need a place to live? Can you please not abandon the house and pay rent on time?