Thursday, June 25, 2009

One Month Newsletter to My Girl,

*** This is about 3 weeks late, I know!

Baby Girl,

I wrote you a letter before you were born and I decided then to do my best to write you each month, trying to capture my thoughts about you before they are lost or garbled with the busyness of life.

This is definitely the BIGGEST month of change, at least in terms of OUR world so far. We have gone from living a life without you to it completely being different - better - in an instant. The very moment I saw you, heard your cry, and looked into your face I was completely changed. Daughter, there are no words to describe how full my heart is now. I couldn't wait to be a "mother" but I had no idea how amazing this would all be until I met you. I truly was in love with you from the moment I held you in my arms and as cliche as it sounds, there truly is nothing like a mothers love; absolutely nothing in the world.

Since the first night in the hospital you have been the most peaceful, calm little girl. You never seem flustered, uncomfortable or even slightly annoyed by anything. You love to be held by anyone - even little kids feel at ease holding you and you relax into anyone's arms. Most people that hold you tell me how therapeutic it is spending time with you. You have such a calming soul - you have from the first minute and I have no doubt you will be described that way for the rest of your life.

You are such a great sleeper! There are mothers out there who curse me that I have such a sleepy, happy baby. You sleep for 4 hours at a time, are awake and happy (literally NO crying) for about 2 hours, then back to sleep for another 4 hours. You wake ONCE during the night to eat and then easily go right back to bed. You awake happy and calm and love to eat. From day one you have nursed perfectly and taught ME so much. Did I mention that you never cry? Oh, we are so lucky!

I feel like you are the one teaching me about how to be a mom, how to slow down, how to soak in all the little things that matter in life. You make me stop to stare at gently blowing leaves with you, sing sweet songs, smile more, say I love you more, smell sweet things . . . The list goes on. You are so patient and kind to your us. Thank you. I will forever love you for making motherhood such a sweet joy - every single minute with you is such a gift and so enjoyable. You have given me love beyond measure and I feel so blessed that YOU are our baby, our gift for the rest of your life.

You will see this your entire life, but let me tell you right now how smitten your daddy is with you. Already I can see him turn to mush when he holds you. When he comes home and holds you, talks to you, looks at all your little toes... He slows down to a pace that no one else can make him do. He is SO proud of you and constantly wants to show you off to the world. He loves the way your head smells, your toes, and those adorable little cheeks. You have made him a dad this month - something he takes very seriously and it seems to suit him quite well. You are a lucky girl Matine.

While you are so calm and "zen" all the time, you also have a funny little personality and make me laugh constantly. You have a very expressive face and make the cutest little sounds and can stare me down like no ones business. You get VERY serious when you poop and I can see when it's coming. You flare your nostrils and bare down - ready to do your business. I never dreamed I would even talk or write about baby bowel movements, but this month has brought out all sorts of surprising things in me and your dad.

Your grandma Kerri (Nona) and Jim were here for the entire month of May - waiting patiently for you as you were a full week late and staying to help make our first few weeks together as fun and easy as possible. They adore you - so much that they realized they couldn't be 2,000 miles away in Oklahoma and within the month of being here they put an offer on a house right down the street.

Oh the people that love you little girl! This month has been filled with visitor upon visitor. You were loved before you arrived and will never be short on adoration or attention. Everyone thinks you are extremely special. You do have a way with winning over everyone you meet.

Your stare is piercing, deep and full of such peace. This month I have seen little changes in your face, your size, but those eyes, the look you give me . . . It shakes me to my core. You started make little smiles at me at 4 weeks! I cry every single time you smile. It is the most beautiful smile I have ever seen. Will I ever get over that? You started cooing a bit right at your 1-month birthday. You open your cute little mouth wide like a baby bird waiting for food and you try with all your might to make any kind of noise. Your favorite place in all the house is your changing table. We lay there for about an hour each time we change your diaper. You look at all the lights reflected from the mirror, the stripes/contrast of the ceiling, my face, your face. Your eyes light up when I lay you down there, it is the cutest thing.

You adore being held and snuggling. When you are on dad or my chest you burrow in, nestle your head in the crook of our necks, drape your arms over our shoulders or to our chest and melt before our eyes. If you are not wanting to just snuggle you have to be looking around! Those little neck muscles started getting a work out early - you love to look at everything!

You have an amazing trust for us, for your entire world. We have been able to take you anywhere... You LOVE to check everything out when we leave the house. Being outside seems to be one of your favorite things. This doesn't surprise us, you are our child, but it is so warming to see you love the smells and sounds of nature already . . . There will be much more of that in your future!

This first month has felt almost gluttonous. To spend my days and nights hanging out with you --- there aren't words. I find myself not caring about a single thing outside our little walls. What could be more important in these precious first days than soaking you in, loving you, cuddling with you? Our days are filled with sleeping, eating and "playing." I love to lay you down or hold you and just tell you all about your life, your family, your dogs, your world. You stare at me as we do this, somehow telling me something about you and teaching me to be better. Little Matine, if I do one thing right in this world, I hope it is be a good mother for you. You deserve everything. You deserve the most love, the most grace, the most peace in all the world.

I am honored to be your mom. I cannot believe an entire month has gone by - every single minute has been the greatest gift I have ever imagined. Thank you for choosing us, for making us parents, making us see the world and love in a whole new way.

ALL my love always,



Meg Taylor said...

what a sweet sweet letter! you are a good mommy!!

Rachel Melone said...

Love it! You make Motherhood look easy! :)

Jacqueline said...

Love the letter.....she has accomplished the unthinkable.....slowing you two down! ;)

The Peevyhouse's said...

you have made me cry this morning. That was beautiful and you are truly enjoying this mom thing. I am so proud of you!

lauren and brad said...

You have got this hormonal mama crying her eyes out! How beautiful! You have written it down perfectly!!!

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