4 Months Old

Dear Sweet Matine,

Child o' mine... Four months... already? I thought I would be writing you a little letter every single month, but alas ... It hasn't happened. Like they say, "don't blink, it goes by in a flash." Daughter, I feel like I have done my very best to cherish, soak in, and enjoy every single moment of you. I never thought I would think you could be more beautiful, sweeter, or more fun than the day before, yet every single morning you greet me with that ridiculously large toothless grin, bouncing feet and arms and dancing eyes and I am proved wrong - YOU GET BETTER!


You are still the most amazingly peaceful, sweet person. You are always happy, always engaged in whatever is going on. You seem to have memorized every face, room, event, place we have seen. You are a real beauty - inside and out. You have a way of simply mesmerizing everyone you meet. Everyone comments on how engaging, alert and pretty you are. You are also just so sweet to everyone still. Anyone can hold you and I can count on one hand the number of times you have cried in anyone's arms - including mine.

You are also getting so very active! You are busy - constantly looking around, trying to move, wanting to be on the ground rolling over (which you did at a vengeance at 3 months old). Everyone is warning me that you will be an early crawler. You love to be on your belly for long periods of time and you already kick your legs and have pulled your knees under you, ready for take off. You have my permission to slow all of this down... I am just getting used to you rolling over! You have to face out and see the world - no doubt a trait you will carry with you the rest of your life. You just look prepared for life, ready to take it on, ready to experience it all. A total stranger (a near bum at the library) in town yesterday commented "She looks so poised and composed- ready to take on the world."


My child, I think he is right. Other 4-month developments - I think you are beginning to teeth. You constantly drool (massive amounts)and "chew on your tongue." You put everything you get your hands on straight into your mouth. You want to taste and feel it all. I can see you follow everything we have in our hands with your eyes, mimicking us, trying to get it into your mouth. You are very tactile and for an entire month now have been so great at holding and controlling things with your little hands. You seem to take part in the conversations we have with others. You begin to talk when others do and look right at someone like you are telling them a very interesting and detailed story (definitely the Cottongim in you). You have hundreds of different noises and "words" already. God help us all!

I have definitely learned alot this last month. No matter how drastic your learning curve is and how much you are changing, I think I am changing more. I have been such a freak at moments. I constantly worry, plan, and try to figure out what your "schedule" is. Am I screwing it up? Am I being consistent enough? Am I not be flexible enough? Will that walk mess your naps up all day? It goes on and on . . . I am driving my mother and your dad crazy! I keep assuring myself that it's all for your own good, that I WILL calm down eventually and that every mom has to learn to balance her instinct with sound advice right? Just promise me the lack of naps this week won't lead to drug use, dating boys with lots of leather or tongue piercings?

You are still a ridiculously great sleeper. You sleep through the night (only rarely waking to eat once anymore), we take a bath at 7:30pm (which you LOVE) and you are usually asleep soundly by 8:15-8:30. Up until last week you took a 2-3 hour morning nap and a 2-3 hour afternoon nap like clockwork. Well, that has all changed this week - which ironically has left me NOT SLEEPING! You are happy, not cranky, and alert ALL DAY LONG so most people wonder why I am worried. I put you down with the same sleepy ques that you have always had, at the same times - but you won't sleep. You will lie in your crib talking to yourself for nearly an hour. Sometimes you want nothing to do with the crib and you will cry until I get you back out where you can see what I am doing around the house. I decide to try it again in another hour and a half. To no avail. I will NOT let you give up naps yet. I am hoping it is just a little growth phase, something that had to do with our week up at Elk Camp. Little girl, you MUST sleep and nap again. It might kill me! As you sleep soundly at night I toss and turn wondering how I screwed up my perfect baby! Then wham... today you sleep like you used to. You took a 4 hour nap this morning! Seriously? I think you just like keeping me on my toes. Who knows what you will do tomorrow. Talk to the crib for hours or sleep? Maybe you will start crawling . . .


Speaking of Elk Camp. It made your daddy's year to see you up at Camp. We walked in while the others rode our horses, you were in a fun backpack carrier where you could overlook everything and take it all in. We spent Sunday-Wednesday up there. You slept all night each night, loved to walk around the woods during the day, petting the horses, watching dad work and stare at all the phases and sights. There was so much to see, smell and touch. You loved it. You are definitely an outdoor girl and it is hard to imagine that next year you will be RUNNING around camp and I will surely have a time trying to keep up with you.


We have spent LOTS of time with your Nona and Jim-Pa. They are already some of your favorite people. You absolutely light up when you see them and they adore you so much. They are 2 blocks away and see you every single day. It has been so fun to share you with them and I am certain you have added a layer to their life that they can't do without now. I am not sure what I would do without your Nona. She has been so helpful and loving and kind. She gives me such amazing advice and calms me down when I question if I am a good mommy or not. I don't think I ever realized HOW much I needed my mom until I became one - wow little one, one day you will see the depth of the love a mom has for her child. It is immeasurable and indescribable.


So, going on month 4 of your life. How much will you grow? You are already completely into 6 month old clothes - you are so long! Your head seems so big... Maybe it's those ever growing chubby cheeks that look bigger after each nursing? We will work on you taking a bottle - you want nothing to do with it now. I love nursing and really am in no hurry for you to take the bottle, but it would be nice every once in a while to know that someone else could feed you if I needed to leave you for more than 3 or 4 hours. So, any tips? What will that take? We are on bottle and nipple type #4 so far. We aren't pulling anything over on you - you know it's an imposter!

In the beginning it seemed that you looked like a complete clone of me as a baby. I couldn't tell the difference between our baby pictures. I would catch a glimpse of seeing your father in your face every so often. Until last week. You are now completely and wonderfully YOU in your looks and even cuter than I imagined. I love to see you change.


You have laughed about 8 times now. It's the cutest giggle on the planet. I can't wait to hear more. I look forward to seeing you roll, laugh, play, talk to yourself and to me more. You have LOTS to say and it sounds like you are talking in perfect baby babble sentences. You love to be sung to, enjoy having books read to you, and love to lay on the floor and roll and reach for your toys. I put you in the "neglect-a-saucer" so we call it. It is actually a Baby Einstein entertainment center thing that allows you to stand up in and and play with a million different brightly colored plastic "activities." To my horror, you LOVED it. You get giddy in it and love to make it make noise, kick your feet, grab at all the "stuff." Every mom I talk to admits that they hated the idea of the thing at first but they end up being saviors in the end. I am beginning to see why . . . My busy little bee . . .

Thank you for being our baby. You woo us more every single day. You amaze me each and every day with your sweetness and patience with yourself, me and the world. Your dad and I feel so blessed to be your parents.

Below (maybe... having a hard time getting videos to upload - someone smarter than me please help) is a 2 minute film. If you are into baby babble and hearing my super genius child "talking" then enjoy. She gets chattier as it goes on... This is what she does when I lay her down to "nap" these days. The pacifier is also now a TOY... She doesn't need it for soothing, it is just conveniently a fun object that she can manipulate in and out of the mouth a million times and use to make her voice to fun and interesting things. Enjoy!