Dearest Oliver

Oliver,

We love you. We are your parents. You have brought so much joy and laughter into our lives and are for the most part a perfect family pet and friend. However, your antics lately of jumping over the concrete wall in our back yard and "visiting" the neighbors is not acceptable behavior. We have thought about grounding you to the house, but we all know who would end up punished if we left you inside. We thought about a shock collar, but we really want to save that special tool for teaching you NOT to "eat the hind end" off of your brother Gaucho.

The other dogs in the neighborhood do NOT appreciate you taunting them with your "freedom to roam" as they are stuck behind their fences (like good little dogs).

Now, we KNOW you get plenty of love, attention and exercise. If your mother got as much exercise as you, she'd look like Christy Turlington. Every day you spend with your father on 700 acres of land - running, playing, rolling in snow, and even using your natural herding instincts. By the way, herding us out the door to the hot tub or to the food barrel is not necessary any longer - we know the routine too!

So, why Oliver, why must you jump the fence that for 1 whole year never interested you? Is it because we tried to be nice and not "take care of the boys" earlier... well, that will be taken care of soon-"Dr. Colmey will see you in his office now..."

And one last final threat. THIS is what will happen to you if you get some cute little doggie knocked up or cause a car accident while "parading" your cute self all over town!

Lots of love, xoxoxo

Mom and Dad